Here is an extreme email I recently received from a family member suggesting that the
Democrats and Republicans in this country "divorce" or separate and
divide up the country's land mass equally. It’s unbelievable that some people
see things so simply. I love how liberals, socialists, Marxists and Obama
supporters are all conveniently lumped into the same category in this letter.
Also notice how the person who is circulating this email is thrilled to
discover that a young person and a student actually has something that
they perceive as intelligent to say about politics. Read the following email
copied from my inbox and imagine how things would really go down if this were
to occur. Here are the terms stated in the email which some people apparently
thought were amusing, ingenious and cut and dry:
(None of the following words in blue are mine
or reflect any of my views just to be clear.)
DIVORCE
AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON,
A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and
Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the
sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me
realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years
for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly
run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We
can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I
am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the
cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can
go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore
and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a
bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers,
food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks.
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll
help provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism,
political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but
we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and
not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of
the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can
continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which
one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.
(WOW!)
